there, its out. it should feel better now , shouldn't it?

I dont really like talking to you. You make me feel insignificant. Really. At times i know im just letting my ego over ride my perspective , that im just trying to dig up things about you that i can decide that i dont like.

But sometimes , i let all the hurt go and i realise i still dont like talking to you.

I dont suppose it was always like this. I can say anything and everything to you, as always, but now i dont like saying it, the way i used to.

I suppose if i wait long enough , rationality will kick in and things will go back to the way they were before, and i know ill be talking to you perfectly normally...

you wont even notice it, but it will be there..
infact, im pretty good at hiding such things...
but im tired of burying everything. If i wait long enough, the hurt goes away, without serious repercussions..coz i never bury it whole, i always let it fizz out a little, so it doesnt harm me..

But i really am tired of adjusting. I want to let everything out and take the blast of it , full on, so i can move on clean.

But it hurts like mad.
Im on to a new form of logic now. Everytime i bury stuff inside, things never show, noone realises, and i get hurt worse than ever the next time around.
I stop burying, dirt stops getting thrown over me.

And i realise that you're not really to blame for all of this. But in a way, its nice that things happened the way they did.

and then i can start liking to talk to you again.

LOST

okay. this has been a long time in coming.
plus, i have finally broken my omerta.
(hope to keep it broken. but we all know how that works out :P)

hmm. this entire fiasco is basically some kind of weird mutated therapy session. everyone is here solve their problems.
you'll notice that each one of the people have faced some trauma or the other.
the island is a kind of simulated environment which is trying to help them deal with their fears.
my guess is that each one of these people have either voluntarily signed up , or have been taken for therapy , mostly by "dharma initiative"
and either their subconscious is being tweaked while they're bodies are in suspended animation, OR theyre put in a simulated environment with random variable so that their subconscious can "affect" the environment..

and the situations they face on the island is helping them get over their respective "it"s

• john locke can "miraculously" walk again. also during the earlier episodes, he could get stuff out of the island. could solve a lot of problems , shoot well, do almost everything..and it seemed like he "willed" them away. however , now that he's facing a science vs faith struggle with jack, and he's about the only one who believes in the 108 minutes shit, it seems he is going to learn a lesson in misplaced blind faith...already he has let his father push him around because of it..i assume he will learn not to trust blindly.
• how on earth could sun get "pregnant"?it was supposed to be nearly impossible. plus, jin was impotent. i assume the island for sun and jin is there to sort out their issues and love each other again.
• charlie is there to get over the drug addiction. plus, he gets the guitar back the moment he gets over the addiction
• claire initially didnt want the baby, but because " they" tried to take it away, she realises that she does love the baby after all.
• im guessing the french woman wasnt able to get over her trauma..."or" shes a random simulation to hlep claire get over "it" :P
• how the fuck does a polar bear turn up just after walt imagines it? plus, walt is able to make things happen. walt and his father are there to learn to love each other
• sayeed and ana lucia obviously have anger management problems...plus , they both can't seem to control indiscriminate violence
• im guessing the "him" in the guy incharge of this whole "experiment. the "others " are not really malevolent..theyre doctors or whateveres trying to help in the "simulation" of the events.
• the biggest giveaway (if any of this should make sense) is the episode where "dave " hurleys imaginary friend occurs and tells him he's his subconscious and all this is in his head. plus, he says he's seen libby someplace else. and then she's shown in the same hospital that hurley's in.

ah well. i could find a lot more parallels and twist the story to fit what i think it should...but this will do for now.