monday post

why does everything has to be definite?
or defined for that matter?
sometimes youre forced to draw up definitions and limits when there are none necessary really..
why should i claim im a certain type of person when i can feel like something else?

im pretty random and arbit at times...almost all times actually..but that doesnt mean i dont make sense...or supreme sense even...once in a while..
infact, im about the most sensible person i know.
im pretty aloof and removed from other people at times..and i'm not always very considerate..but that doesnt mean that i dont care or that i cannot socialize or just be plain friendly.

i like science . i louve science . but i like arts and music.. infact i louve art and music.
i like animals . but i dont necessarily hate people who dont like animals or people who are cruel to animals. yes, i dont like what they do..i dont even like people who litter or hypocrites. but not liking them doesnt mean ill never talk to them or have fun with them.

im not an average . im not a total.

i might not like certain TV shows and i might watch the just to make fun of them. at other times i dont feel like watching anything.

people donot have a right to demand a definition from me. nor do i have a right to expect one from them. but at times i still do anyway.

i like the rain i like the sun. but i dont like the sun when i dont want to.

i can make a point with just one sentence i can go on rambling about it for hours and hours.
i can get pissed about the fact that i manage to feel guilty when i cross my own pseudo-definition of what im like or what im not like.

i need limits . but i dont need to draw them for nothing. i dont need to fit in or rebel.

i dont need to think in terms of fitting in or rebelling infact because even the rebels fit in. or maybe thats my definition . which makes me guilty again that im trying to explain something that really doesnt matter.
i can do what i want when i want without answering to people as long as its my beliefs that are in question. half of the world ive created is a perceptive one in my head anyway so this fine net of beliefs and limits and definitions doesnt show through half the time.

and honestly, im relieved. i dont even know if this is a form of justification anyway.

i am what i am

or perhaps i am what i want.