there, its out. it should feel better now , shouldn't it?

I dont really like talking to you. You make me feel insignificant. Really. At times i know im just letting my ego over ride my perspective , that im just trying to dig up things about you that i can decide that i dont like.

But sometimes , i let all the hurt go and i realise i still dont like talking to you.

I dont suppose it was always like this. I can say anything and everything to you, as always, but now i dont like saying it, the way i used to.

I suppose if i wait long enough , rationality will kick in and things will go back to the way they were before, and i know ill be talking to you perfectly normally...

you wont even notice it, but it will be there..
infact, im pretty good at hiding such things...
but im tired of burying everything. If i wait long enough, the hurt goes away, without serious repercussions..coz i never bury it whole, i always let it fizz out a little, so it doesnt harm me..

But i really am tired of adjusting. I want to let everything out and take the blast of it , full on, so i can move on clean.

But it hurts like mad.
Im on to a new form of logic now. Everytime i bury stuff inside, things never show, noone realises, and i get hurt worse than ever the next time around.
I stop burying, dirt stops getting thrown over me.

And i realise that you're not really to blame for all of this. But in a way, its nice that things happened the way they did.

and then i can start liking to talk to you again.