The little girl

I've never posted this before, as i was paranoid about copyright issues. But I sat down to write tonight, and realised that i had plenty to say, but now was not the time, so i just decided to put in something else..
This was some four years ago

The little girl had a perfect little life. She had a loving mother who made her nice things to eat and took her to school and took care of her. And she had a doting daddy who took her to beaches and parks and on piggy back rides if he wasn’t too tired. And every night as she went to bed, her parents would come to tuck her in and kiss her goodnight and if she had been nice, they would tell her a bedtime story.

The little girl went to a wonderful school where she had a kind and pretty teacher who taught her marvelous new things. Everyday she used to play with the other little boys and girls on the swings and see saws and she used to make pretty sandcastles and sand knights …

One day, as the little girl was skipping home from school, she passed the park to which her daddy used to take her to every Sunday. As she passed the exact spot between the slide and the sand pit, she heard a little noise. It was coming from between the trees a little further off. She moved a little closer, and the noise grew a little louder. She kept inching forward until she was right beside the big tree. She looked over and to her surprise, saw a little puppy wedged between the roots whining piteously. She tenderly rescued the little mite and carried it up to the park bench, where she sat down with the little dog in her lap. She gave it a bit of her leftover lunch and the little dog licked her hands. The little girl smiled. She had wanted a friend of her own. She looked down at the little dog and asked, ”little dog, will you be my friend?” The little dog gave a little whine and licked the little girl’s hands.

After that, the little girl used to stop at the park everyday on her way back from school. The little girl and the little dog would spend the entire afternoon playing and merrily running around the park. The little girl would then go home, tired and dirty, but happy.

The little girl’s mother saw the little girl coming late in the afternoon from the park, all dirty. She asked the little girl , ”where have you been little girl”. And the little girl laughed and replied, ”oh mummy! I’ve been playing with my friend, the little dog in the park!”
The little girl’s mummy was worried. Dogs were dangerous for little girls and she didn’t want this little girl to get bitten or eaten by the dog. So she said, ”little girl, the little dog is wicked and dirty. It is not good for you. Please do not go play with it henceforth ok??”

The little girl was sad. She loved her little friend and knew that he would never hurt her. But she didn’t want her mummy to feel sad either. So the little girl used to go to the park without telling her mummy.

She shared wonderful times with her little friend, who could now recognize her from a mile off and would yap loudly to welcome her.

One day when the little girl went to meet here little friend in the park, there was no yapping to be heard. The little girl was puzzled, but went to the bench anyway. Her little friend was nowhere to be seen. She called and shouted and searched around the park but her little friend seemed to have disappeared completely. The little girl was out in the park till late evening searching and shouting for her little friend.
Tired and hungry, the little girl returned home sobbing. Her mummy ran to her and put her arms around her and gave her a big hug. The little girl told her mummy about the disappearance of her little friend. Mummy listened, but did not shout at the little girl seeing how sad she was, even though she had disobeyed her mummy. Then mummy said,”he has probably gone to see his family. Do not worry little girl, he will come back someday. Now come on, I’ve made delicious dinner for you. Aren’t you hungry?”

The little girl wasn’t hungry. Still sniffing, she sat down at the table and had her dinner, which otherwise would have been delicious, but today she had lost her appetite.

Her mummy and daddy came to tuck her in. they asked if she wanted a story, but she refused. Her mother kissed her forehead and her father ruffled her hair.
As they turned to go, daddy asked mummy, “Oh by the way mummy, the cutlets we had for dinner were delicious! Yumm!! What were they made of?”
And mummy replied “oh, dog meat.”

waah!!

ok

i woke up yesterday morning and realised i havent showered my four babies with love and affection.

To the uninitiated, i had gotten four adorable fishes in mid february and (i think) i have been taking exceptional care of them.

Now i know you want introductions and i shall proceed to give them promptly.
I have two red and white orandas( kind of mutated goldfish) called Simon and Garfunkel.
Simon is a huge pig and keeps eating. Garfunkel is what i would call a hippy Flower fish. All spaced out and shit.

And i have two rosy barbs, narayana is the loner freak fish, while Mogambo, like his namesake , is a huge bully , and has been a constant pain in the flippers for Simon, merely because he wants to pass the time.

So i go there to show the fish louve , and as i give them fish food i realised that Mogambo is bloody missing. I mean, i understand dead, or mutilated or hiding in the filter or inside the gravel or inside shells ( i looked . )
But no.
Poof! gone! vanished without a trace.

After a frantic half hour starting with having a mild heart attack , and then proceeding to blame everyone from my mum to my bai for purposely taking just one fish and flushing it, or worse, leaving it to rot somewhere in the house , just to spite me,

I realised that the only logical solution was that two days ago, while i was asleep at home,a crow saw my fish, flew in and without a mess , any water dropped or any sign of struggle, neatly picked up just one fish , and flew back out the same window, phat.

The other alternative which i refuse to accept is that Mogambo wasn't Actually Mogambo, but was Mr India , and wants to show me that ive named him wrongly and is waiting for me to scan the tank with a red tinted glass.

bah.

Mogambo gayab hua :(

i hate crows more than ever now

And i was thinking ill put up pics but now i can have only three fishes. Noone will ever know what Mogambo looked like . And i wrote all this once and my bloody comp bucked and everything got deleted. bah.

RIP Mogambo.
*sniff*

my , that was quick .


i'm either the most unprincipled bitch around, or i really donot know what im doing

:P

in other news, i ate four mangoes today
i think im going in for number five

there, its out. it should feel better now , shouldn't it?

I dont really like talking to you. You make me feel insignificant. Really. At times i know im just letting my ego over ride my perspective , that im just trying to dig up things about you that i can decide that i dont like.

But sometimes , i let all the hurt go and i realise i still dont like talking to you.

I dont suppose it was always like this. I can say anything and everything to you, as always, but now i dont like saying it, the way i used to.

I suppose if i wait long enough , rationality will kick in and things will go back to the way they were before, and i know ill be talking to you perfectly normally...

you wont even notice it, but it will be there..
infact, im pretty good at hiding such things...
but im tired of burying everything. If i wait long enough, the hurt goes away, without serious repercussions..coz i never bury it whole, i always let it fizz out a little, so it doesnt harm me..

But i really am tired of adjusting. I want to let everything out and take the blast of it , full on, so i can move on clean.

But it hurts like mad.
Im on to a new form of logic now. Everytime i bury stuff inside, things never show, noone realises, and i get hurt worse than ever the next time around.
I stop burying, dirt stops getting thrown over me.

And i realise that you're not really to blame for all of this. But in a way, its nice that things happened the way they did.

and then i can start liking to talk to you again.

LOST

okay. this has been a long time in coming.
plus, i have finally broken my omerta.
(hope to keep it broken. but we all know how that works out :P)

hmm. this entire fiasco is basically some kind of weird mutated therapy session. everyone is here solve their problems.
you'll notice that each one of the people have faced some trauma or the other.
the island is a kind of simulated environment which is trying to help them deal with their fears.
my guess is that each one of these people have either voluntarily signed up , or have been taken for therapy , mostly by "dharma initiative"
and either their subconscious is being tweaked while they're bodies are in suspended animation, OR theyre put in a simulated environment with random variable so that their subconscious can "affect" the environment..

and the situations they face on the island is helping them get over their respective "it"s

• john locke can "miraculously" walk again. also during the earlier episodes, he could get stuff out of the island. could solve a lot of problems , shoot well, do almost everything..and it seemed like he "willed" them away. however , now that he's facing a science vs faith struggle with jack, and he's about the only one who believes in the 108 minutes shit, it seems he is going to learn a lesson in misplaced blind faith...already he has let his father push him around because of it..i assume he will learn not to trust blindly.
• how on earth could sun get "pregnant"?it was supposed to be nearly impossible. plus, jin was impotent. i assume the island for sun and jin is there to sort out their issues and love each other again.
• charlie is there to get over the drug addiction. plus, he gets the guitar back the moment he gets over the addiction
• claire initially didnt want the baby, but because " they" tried to take it away, she realises that she does love the baby after all.
• im guessing the french woman wasnt able to get over her trauma..."or" shes a random simulation to hlep claire get over "it" :P
• how the fuck does a polar bear turn up just after walt imagines it? plus, walt is able to make things happen. walt and his father are there to learn to love each other
• sayeed and ana lucia obviously have anger management problems...plus , they both can't seem to control indiscriminate violence
• im guessing the "him" in the guy incharge of this whole "experiment. the "others " are not really malevolent..theyre doctors or whateveres trying to help in the "simulation" of the events.
• the biggest giveaway (if any of this should make sense) is the episode where "dave " hurleys imaginary friend occurs and tells him he's his subconscious and all this is in his head. plus, he says he's seen libby someplace else. and then she's shown in the same hospital that hurley's in.

ah well. i could find a lot more parallels and twist the story to fit what i think it should...but this will do for now.

Bangkok : take one

When she looked back at it later, she was pretty sure it was the hijra moment that defined all the rest of them to come ..it had seemed quite poignant even on the way to the airport..R had just freaked out and the driver uncle had momentarily locked and unlocked the doors just to make sure she couldnt open em and bug them.. you were never quite sure.. and at any rate she hadnt seen one around the air india building in the two years that she had been living there..

the entire journey to the airport was filled with fun...and i dont mean that in the cliched way..then again maybe i do..
everyone was in a chirpy mood ..songs were being sung..and little little things were being noted.."dude!! we wont see the house for the next five days!! dont you think houses smell all weird when you get back after a long journey??"
"hey...i want to play this number game thing...im sure somewhere around tuesday..theyll announce my number and there will be noone there to collect it and then i'll be all sad and all"
"we'll never really know who got to win the sa re ga ma pa li'l champs now..!! oh fahk!! i dont think i want to go anymore..mom! youll miss all your serials even!!"

the hijra had seemed pretty mad at them ..she kept going on and cursing...though they couldnt hear anything because of the glass...R just spelt out some random curse and predicted that we'll land in the seventh level of hell and our bangkok trip will be the worst ever and how we should give the hijra the money she/he so badly seemed to want..

and then came the airport ..and with it all the memories of how indian airports werent really that nice as compared to well...phoren airports...she remembered the time at singapore when they had spit raspberry mirinda all over the check in counter...and how mom had made them drink two whole one-litre bottles of the stuff because she didnt want to waste any and neither did she want to carry any back.. they had stashed one bottle in the bag anyway..and then they had moonwalked all over the travellator laughing like complete idiots trying to backwards-walk-race mom who was really really mad by that time...

oh...back to the point..
finding the line was pretty tough...especially if you were incapacitated with laughter...and if a very cute ..though irritating mallu uncle kept screaming at everyone in a happy-irritating tone "SHARJAAA!!! YOU BE WANTING TO GO TO SHARJAAA!! YESS!!!" and kept pushing random people into the check in line for sharjah..

they were standing in both the lines (all due to brilliant indian railways behaviour of mom ..who kept trying to push everyone else out of the way) and she and R started staring at other people in the airports.
airport-people were somehow always better to watch than train-people ..you can make up much better stories about their lives ..especially if you know where they are going..
and then came out this intricate story about how if their plane crashed , then they would NEVER want to be marooned on a deserted island with these people .. "lost " with this particular bunch of passengers would be boring as hell..
all this while mom was sending out her killer-glares and telling her she was a disgrace and was just pretending to laugh in public cause she was subconsciously attention seeking..

then they just got bored and refused to stand in the line and went out and sat on the trolleys...while dad and mom battled the woman at the check in counter...

they came back...with the suitcases...she was going towards them and her mom was just shaking her head...no..'.er...whats going on mom?' 'uhm...i dont know how to say this ...but we arent going ..'

yeah..
right..
WHAT !!

then came an hour of hysterical laughing outside the airport while waiting for their car to return..and R totally lost it and started laughing and crying at the same time...it seems there was some immigration issues...mom and dad could go ...but her and R couldnt..they tried convincing their parents to go...but they wouldnt hear of it...it was pretty dream like in a way..
she didnt know how to react..this wasnt in her range of oh-i-know-how-to-behave-now circumstances...so she just laughed again..
and then the little mallu uncle comes right up to them and says "SHARJAAA!! YOU BE WANTING TO GO TO SHARJAA YES??"

then R said something completely random..
"dude!! im so proud of us...if we have a reality show about our family...this would be the time that the camera men got the shock of their lives...nobody in their right minds would be laughing at this!!"
and she couldnt help but burst right out into laughter again..

the next few days were proof to the fact that the universe hated her..college got cancelled on monday and tuesday..people randomly came up to her and made l signs on their foreheads (she secretly liked that though) ..thousand renditions of "why-i-am-not-in-bangkok-right-now" were given out...

another one of R' gems came
"dude...looks like we will know who won the sa re ga ma li'l champs after all then"

on second thoughts..she should definitely have given the hijra some money..

i like planes.

hmm...

there was once a dog . it was a nice dog, all white with a black patch over its eye (just the way i like it)..
and since it was a nice dog, it had a nice temperament to go along with its niceness..
yais, the dog was a bit on the philosophical side and tended to reflect on its doing a bit more than other canines ...it tended to chase cars just a bit longer than the rest and even had a best-friend-cat..
but that didnt really come in the way of its values or morals coz it didnt believe in any...
not that it could process the necessity of standards or morals as long as it got to chase cars and eat scrap off the dustbin in khira nagar..
but still...
also..im not sure it would appreciate being called an "it"...im sure it was proud of its gender , whatever it was..but this is just to keep the gender bias out of this story...
this isnt a story.

well one day the dog was provoked beyond its meagre boundary of standards and morals and it nipped someone..
well...not really nipped...the dog couldnt stand bothering with other beings more than necessary so it just tore the end of that person's (yes that being was human) pants.

so...now there was this uproar and people started accusing the dog of not conforming to society's standards (not that they cared. they just liked using the word society.....they also liked using the word phlegm...but ..well..that can hardly be used in everyday conversation now can it?)

so the dog was accused of having anti-social morals...people formed anti-dog parties...huge debates took place questioning the dogs decision to nip the hem of the pant..

the dog couldnt understand all this of course..it was too busy chasing a red maruti on marine drive...also..it didnt understand any language other than dog.

so there was this huge war and people died for other beliefs and bigger and more important issues were forgotten ..
(i dont know the standard for judging those other issues as bigger...i just assumed they were ..and this is my not-story so i can do what i please.)

mean while the dog chased cars all over mumbai and over the course of its chasings wandered into the airport...
here the dog was in for a super-dooper-bombastic treat coz it saw the biggest plane that it had never seen before (you cant say ever..coz ever stretches both ways in time..and how can you say with certainity that the dog will never see a bigger plane?)

well....the dog chased the plane with its tongue all happily hanging out...and soon other airport walla dogs joined in the chase and it became those huge greyhound-type races...only the weird little stuffed bait was transmorphed into an air india flight...

and as the dog crossed the 57th slum alongside the tarmac used for take-off, the AAI official came out and shot the dog.

not one member of the pro-dog-biting-hem-of-human's-pant party came for the funeral.